I had scheduled a shamanic healing weeks ago… leading up to it was many things, frustration, finding my heart chakra still moving slow… litterally like cement and I could not get it going.
Wounds are like the layers of an onion, always something underneath.
The woman I work with is Sue. What I like best is there is no holding back, what she gets she gives. That is what I need, honesty.
The session was soothing with gentle touch intergrated with some traditional reiki hand placenent and therapeutic massage of the chakra areas amd included Essential oils, Santo Paulo wood burning, drummimg and rattling. All of my favorite things. Honestly I have never had a healing session like this. Never have I received such clear messages during a session.
I started by doing meditation this morning and setting my intent for my session. During this time is when I realized my darn heart was again thick as cement. It dawned one though that I was born with heart defects and that possibly all this gunk I have worked for might have deeper roots.
During the session several things came up, such as Dad and Stepdad issues. I was told even though I had forgiven and allowed the hurt feelings to process and blow away, I also had to take responsibility for my part in the disintegration of the relationship with my father. I have taken responsibly for many other things, but not that. Inhabe always just held in the hurt feelings of guilt for cutting ties. I accept responsibility where it is applicable to my feelings.
During the drumming session I had the clearest journey ever. It started as a baby in the womb, took me back and back through some of the trauma in past lives, the beauty of them, the ugly and the scary. My white owl was with me the entire time along with bat and lioness. Those are my three main animal totems. I saw the beauty of the stars, green and blue, the spiral of life goes back far. I once again saw myself buried as a puritan woman, as a man in the 1800’s in white hospital clothing admittedly insane and unstable, someone who killed what I percieved as demons. Was I crazy? No, I saw through people’s disguises. Saw the atrocities they were capable of. I saw the lovely afro lady I was directly before this life, whole and healed, now at least I know that the trauma that led to my death there (being beaten to death by my husband) I have successfully healed. I saw caves, volcanos and a woman with crazy hair. Don’t knownwho she is but she was scary looking. It was at this point I felt the need to take back every part of myself left behind. I took back the good, the bad, the evil I had done, the good I had done. I took it all. Every ounce of it. Thinking, Do you really want to do this? Yes. I needed to.
While this was going on Sue was told to look at my neck. There sitting plain as day was an arrow. In my weak spot. In the spot I always feel something. Heavy, imbedded and painful.
It is gone now. Replaced by a feeling of wholeness. After she removed it as she was sealing I envisioned beauty, light, love and respect pouring in. Taking in everything that was offered to me In perfect love and trust.
I can’t say for sure where it came from or how long it has been there. I can feel it tingling, light and airy.
