Why do you feel like you don’t belong?

In many circles we often hear the same issues arise with our peer: we don’t feel as if we belong here on earth, no one understands us, we suffer from anxiety and depression, we have a hard time keeping jobs because of our strong wills, we sometimes know things that freak others out and people don’t accept us for what we are or state we are.

There are of course many reasons for this.

The spiritual community has come up with many reasons for this which continue to seperate us and keep us feeling alone. They tell us we don’t belong here, we are inherently different, we remember coming from a place where everyone and everything is perfect, we are free spirits, we are angels sent to earth to help humanity (that’s a hell of a lot of responsibility, and you wonder why you are anxious?), We often see and hear of people who claim to be something wondrous, they are incarnated God’s, archangels, ascended master’s or they channel messages from these magical beings in the sky. (Ever read some of these messages? They often differ in their messages not because they are untrue but because they are coming through each human channels brain and filter, so take them with a grain of salt because they will not all resonate with you). Some of this is EGO, this is not bad, this is simply that humans way of working the human existence. We need an EGO. We need to know who we are and what we are here to accomplish. This can change because as we develop and practice our spirituality, become one with ourselves our beliefs can change or be reinforced. None of this is wrong unless it feels wrong or is impacting you negatively. When that starts to happen, take a break and step back. A community should encourage you to seek your truth and not tell you what the truth is. They may explain situations and give you reasons such as why this is happening but their messages should never cause you more fear or to feel more separate from yourself and your family.

So why do we feel seperate and different?

When we are born we are a clean slate. We are exactly who we are meant to be. As we grow our human brains start to meld into who our parents and society want us to be. Many souls are fine with this and function fairly well throughout their lives. Many more experience depression, anxiety, some know they have gifts that society may say are silly, not natural, evil, ECT. We are in a way forced to conform to something we know is wrong. Religion, suppression of our abilities, many times this happens with parents who lose themselves in raising their children (empty nest syndrome- usually followed by a mid-life crisis) except this is happening much earlier for people- from what I’m seeing starting in their 20’s they are realizing something isn’t right and they start to filter through to who they are and what they are meant to do. That is different for everyone. It isn’t just about knowing you are part of the universe and “divine” so you are supposed to love everyone and treat everyone the same, that’s part of it, but finding what lights your soul on fire. Makes you unique and yes, perfect. We are all perfect at our core because when we are authentic, accept ourselves (good, bad, and ugly- we are all of it) we start to live a life that is uniquely our own… Not our parents, not our friends and not our spiritual communities. We are happy, we are joyful and we are accepted by everyone because we accept everyone. As a society, we have a long way to go but it starts with you. One per can change things one person at a time. We become again who we are meant to be and we encourage others to find themselves.


1) know that you are part of the universe. You are connected to the universe through your link to consciousness (God, the divine, all that is:however you describe it is yours)

2) know that if you were not meant to be human, you wouldn’t be here. This is why we are here. To be human and nothing else. You may have memories of being something different, but this is not why you are here now. Humans have emotions and we are meant to experience them all not hide them. When we hide them we hide ourselves which contributes to the separation and pain we feel. Just because you know why you are here doesn’t mean you get to escape human emotions- it comes with the territory. (Sorry)

3) accept yourself. 100%. While on a true spiritual path this is always first and foremost where to start. If you do not intimately know your triggers and why you engace in negative behavior or emotions, how are you supposed to assist a client or member of your community? This is where alot of people falter. Everyone wants to play in the higher chakras with angels and fairies but when it comes time to work on those lower chakras and things start to get emotional and flipping hard they walk away. In order to effectively help another you must have personal experience to pull from. Otherwise you start telling people they have a demon as a way to make sense of things flying around a room instead of suggesting some serious grounding or inner reflection is in order.

When you are able to accept yourself 100% you will accept others 100%. That is where the magic happens and humanity becomes united. You start to see you can help yourself through anything and you can offer to help others with anything. Why? Because your connection to consciousness (God, the universe, all that is) becomes stronger.

4) when emotions hit us, I’m talking about the negative ones- sadness, guilt, self pity, depression and anxiety- a good way to deal with these is to keep a journal. Name the emotion because sometimes we don’t understand what it is we are feeling. Ask yourself why you are feeling the emotion, what caused it or what from the past reminds you of it. Know it is ok to feel this emotion. It is not wrong. It is why you are here. It is unavoidable as as a human. Accept it and know it won’t last. We are just like the Wheel of Fortune, searching constantly for balance but we will tip one way or another from time to time. It’s why we are here.

5) one thing that has helped me immensely is reading the 5 Agreements by Don Miquel Ruiz. Do not try to implement them all at once because you will become overwhelmed. 1 a week is a good place to start.

6)shamanic inner child work is also a tool I employed to remember who I meant myself to be. There are many ways to do this but a first step is to sit in meditation and imagine yourself at different ages, talk with yourself, ask questions… What to you like to do? What happened to you this year? How does this make you feel?

We all are connected directly to the universe but the human things: religion, EGO traps ECT weaken our true selves. They seperate us and put different people on different pedestals. That’s not who we are, we are all the same. I’m not saying lose all those things about yourself, you may not have to, just try to see through them. They have a  place in the world right now but if it makes your solar plexus feel stronger than your heart it may be time to revisit that.